For Foster parents / The Call ministry

Biological families need our support too

The CALL in White County is working diligently to recruit, train, and support foster families and adoptive families. We make every effort to provide services to foster families and to foster children. Our number one goal is to help the foster children in White County.

The number one priority of The Department of Children and Family Services is to attempt to put foster children back into the homes of their biological families. (In certain cases there’s no possible chance of that happening…it depends on the circumstances…)

If our goal is to do what we can to help the foster children in White County, that means that The CALL needs to be working to help foster families AND we should be doing what we can to help the biological families.

Read that again: We should be doing what we can to help not only the foster families, but also the biological families of the children.

For some of you, that is going to be a very large and hard pill to swallow. After all, we’ve all heard some of the terrible things foster children have been through at the hands of their biological families. Many of you are thinking, “These children have been through hell because of their biological parents…Mom and Dad don’t deserve our help.”

I want to think that way too…and then it hits me…

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 2:23-24

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”                    1 Peter 4:8

The Bible says we have ALL fallen short…we have ALL sinned…we ALL deserve something much worse than what we are actually getting because of GRACE. In Matthew, Jesus says that hatred is the same thing as murder and lust is considered adultery. None of us are innocent or deserving of Christ’s sacrifice, but it is a gift to EVERYONE that wants it according to John 3:16.

There are biological parents that have to list “terrible parent and terrible person” as their career on Facebook because they refuse to change. Then there are those people that were raised in that environment and truly don’t know the difference.

How do we know which biological parent is which?

We don’t. And you know what…it’s not our job to.

As Christians, we are to reach out and make an effort to witness to and help the biological families so that they #1 — come to Jesus — and #2 — get better so that they can get their kids back and never taken again.

Did you know that a large portion of biological parents were either abused by their parents, grew up in a terrible home life, or were in foster care themselves?

Ask yourself these questions:

  • If you suddenly found yourself unable to pay the electric bill, how many people (family or friends) would jump up to help you?
  • If you lost your job and found yourself at risk of losing your home, do you have anyone that would allow you to temporarily live with them until you got on your feet?
  • If you were struggling emotionally or found yourself struggling with addiction, how many people would be there to help you?
  • If you had to go to work at the last minute and needed a babysitter, how many people could you call for help with your kids?
  • When you need help or support of any kind, who is there to help you?

To answer those questions for myself, I have my Dad and Step-mom, Mom and Step-dad, my in-laws, a few close friends, and my church family.

For many biological families, there isn’t a network of people available to help them when they have hard times. The friends they have don’t see the problem with their lifestyle and their parents have either cut them off or are not around (as I said many came from foster care).

Some biological families don’t think they’re doing anything wrong and they will continue to mess up and will eventually lose their kids permanently. Then there are those families who are willing to do different, willing to change, but they need support. They need a network. They need help.

That’s when we as the church should be stepping in. We should rally around these families and help them in their recovery. Help them get what they need to provide the basics for their kids. Go with them to NA, AA, or Celebrate Recovery. The saying, “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” is so true.

In the beginning they have a lot of physical needs that many of our churches are equip to help meet. Once we do that, we need to make an effort to provide for their spiritual needs and get them in church and help lead them to Jesus. Only then can they truly make the permanent life changes they need to make.

In order to help the biological families we have to:

  • Accept that all sin is equal in the eyes of God
  • Recognize that John 3:16 applies to biological families
  • Realize that it’s not our job to determine the motives of the biological families
  • Decide that we’re going to ignore their past in order to help better their future
  • Pray that the DCFS workers, CASA workers, and judges are given discernment in the end to decide what it best for the children.

Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Do not conform to the ideals of the world. Renew your mind and allow yourself to think about what God’s will for may be for the biological families and how you or your church might fit into that will.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s